Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
