I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
