So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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