Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
