Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
