this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
