Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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