I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I deserve this hangover.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
