I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize