hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
