Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
