i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
