And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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