My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
