Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
