you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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