I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Randomize
