Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
