I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
