No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
