god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
