I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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