I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
COCAINE IS GR8
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours