Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard