With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
