ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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