I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Girls should come with a carfax report
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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