We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
