I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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