There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i barfeds in our rink
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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