The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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