Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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