Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
