Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
