It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
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I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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