My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
