And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
