4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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