Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
