Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
and she was petting her beer can
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
