i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
3pm strippers are depressing
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
