Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
