This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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