You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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