did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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