i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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