I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Randomize
