bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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