Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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