Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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