Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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