Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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