My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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