Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
