But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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