Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
