Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
