Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
