literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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