And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We are all done wearing pants today
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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