So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I am available for nakedness
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
